The Banjo

I have been pickin' the banjo alot in the last two days. I really enjoy it's raw, melodic yet, hillbilly, makin' babies with your own mom sound. Ginny and I are gonna play a show in Reeds Spring, America. I will most likely play the banjo in that show. So for 1-3 people reading this, (one of the 1-3 people being Ginny) try your hardest to make it up to Mo.
This will be the only time anyone will read this. I've never said it before and I don't think I will ever say it again, But here it goes...Thank you George W. I know, I know, It's terrible. But, I guess in some kind of ploy to redeem himself, he's decided to give all of us tax payers a $300 check. I'm just going **BoNkErS** over the fact that ole Dubya is actually looking out for us Americanos.
Anyway, I better get back mowing the grass with fingernail clipers. Remember those nickelodeon magazine commercials?
signing off,
D-man

Get on out of town.

Eureaka, here we come. St. Patty's Day will be the time and I'm gonna buy a new hat. For the thousands that read my blogs,...LEAVE ME A COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. I was making fun of people that are starving for attention.

What is Love? (baby don't hurt me)

If someone was to ask me what love is, I would respond with what I'm about to tell you.
Love is when you fart so bad that she has to go blow her nose and throw up at the same time. Then, after the murdering stench dies off, she gives you a slap on the forehead then a kiss. Love is when you scream the word BILLIS! and go in to try to feel her up. And instead of being annoyed, she asks for a different schitsophrinic, child molesting alter-ego. Love is when she is brilliantly talented and a driven, unique individual. But she still is madly in love with a messy haired high school drop-out. Love is when you fuck up on spelling and grammar and she tells you how to correct it. Then says how much smarter she is than you. Love is when you sit together for hours playing with cats. Love is when you watch her sing, and you literaly would be ok with dying because you feel so happy and complete. Love is when you don't kiss in public.
I know everything I just wrote is korny, but I'm korny, and thats why she loves me.

p.s. I also made at least 29 grammatical errors writing this...see?

An Achievement!

It looks as though I almost have a job. The place, Goody's. For those of you who don't know about "Goody's", It's just another unreasonably priced clothing store full of mass produced fun and fashion. Just the place for me! Me being a bluegrass pickin', thrift store shopping, pornstar manager with a broken collarbone as a result of recieving last minute Yanni tickets and having to one too many spicy dill pickles from the snack bar...
...NO! I CAN'T DRIVE A BULLDOZER!...Sorry guys, that was Nanny asking me something. She forgot to take her Prozac.
Anyway, I've got to get back to my endlessly entertaining twenty-two year old roommate that has a heart murmur. Until next time, aloha.